I now realized that truth hurts. and when truth hurts, it scrapes my heart more than anyone could imagine. There’s just this point in time, when you feel that you got to do something. Something gotta be done. We met and we part.
I’ve heard pp telling me stories before, on how they have to make a decision which could hurt pp, and I told them they are being just bitchy. Here I am, doing this decision myself, and I understand them now. However lame people perceive my story is, I don think I could tell them how hurtful it is for me, cos I know.
Not wanting to put this at pause anymore with my skeptical and uncertainty for this journey, I initiated a breakup two nights ago. I could not say anything to make him feel better. Its even more hurtful for me, cos I am not at all calm. It’s a very difficult situation for me to even utter it out. It is even terribly sore, when every minute, God knows how dreadful Im feeling to actually feel that someone there is so disappointed and feeling distraught.
For me, some things got to be done. I couldnt put myself anymore in a relationship which me myself is unsure of. I tried. I once stick this to my mind. It says, ‘Never ever give hopes to someone else. Never put too much hopes on someone else. Never believe in someone so much, cos it might hurt’. I’ve always made a mental note that ‘Relationships is not a process of experimental and trial and error’.
Sparing a thought for someone else more than yourself, I’ll be called a fool. Sparing thoughts for myself more than anyone else, I’ll be selfish.
There are just way too much of reasons.
I fell. I made a mistake. I am grateful, cos I learned.
I think I slept. I think I should sleep.
